THE DEMOCRATIC PRESS — OCTOBER 04, 1877
SOME FACTS ABOUT MERMAIDS ♢ [“Cris” in Puck.]
The mermaid is a young lady who lives in the sea. Why she lives in the sea in preference to dry land, is not so clear, unless it saves rent.
A Mermaid is very careful of her costume, which consists chiefly of her hair, and never goes out without her umbrella to protect it in case of rain.
At home, these people have convenences and comforts not possessed by ordinary mortals, conspicuous among which are their excellent water privilages. They have water up and down stairs, and in the basement, and washrooms in every corner of the house. They are brought up to go in swimming whenever they please. Sometimes a resplendant creature will sit at the piano and sing, ‘Mother may I go out to swim?’ and then climb upon the mantle piece and take a plunge before the old lady can say, ‘Yes, my darling daughter,’ &c.
I do not know what they do for a livelihood, unless they take in washing, but it cannot be denied that they get along swimmingly.
They are never troubled with the dust, which is another advantage of being a Mermaid; and they are never obliged to water the flowers, except in the very dryest season.
They are very neighborly, and it is seldom you will see the pump-handle chained down to keep others from using the water.
